Todd Matthy.com

Sorry this is so late but I was delayed in Europe…not really but the RAW crew really is. Anyway read if you want to see MacGruber blow up Vicki Guerrero.

RAW- 4/19/2010 Fan Script

1: Pre-tape: SUPERSTARS- John Cena over CM Punk

SMACKDOWN- CM Punk over John Cena

Score: John Cena-2, CM Punk-2

2: Show Opens: Triple H comes out and addresses the situation regarding the RAW roster being stranded in Ireland due to the volcano. He announces that tonight the SMACKDOWN roster will wrestle tonight.  Suddenly CM Punk’s music hits and he comes to the ring with the Straight Edge Society.

CM Punk:

Enough Hunter! Enough. I know you’re the only member of the RAW roster here and I think it is admirable that the SMACKDOWN roster made it to this polluted cesspool called New Jersey. With all the pollution, it’s no wonder New Jersey has so many weak minded fools who turn to unnatural substances to slowly put them out of their misery. But getting to the point, tonight I’m supposed to have a match with John Cena, and what do you know? John Cena’s not here. He’s stuck in that drunken cesspool called Ireland. The land of drunks, a perfect place for him to well away his sorrows because he has forfeited his match to me in the best of seven series and since it looks like John Cena is not getting back within the next day or so, he will have forfeited the next match in the series to me, thus making me the number one contender to the Unified Heavyweight Championship. And once I win the Unified title all of the WWE will fall in line and embrace Straight Edge.

Triple H:

That’s great Punk, but there’s a little piece of news I have to…you know what, let the guy on the Titan Tron deliver it to you.

(John Cena appears on the Titan Tron)

Cena:

Hello Jersey! Hello Punk. First, I want to let you all know that the RAW crew is safe and will be coming home as soon as possible and we all want to thank you for your concerns. As for you Punk, yes it doesn’t look like I’ll be back to finish our Best of Seven in time for Extreme Rules. But, it seems you didn’t the memo. You see you and the WWE Universe aren’t the only ones with an interest in this Best of Seven, someone named Vince McMahon has an interest too, and he sent me a memo to tell you that we are going to finish our series at Extreme Rules in an Extreme Iron Man Match! And believe me Punk, I’ll be there even if I have to swim across the Atlantic and go through a handicap match with two Great White Sharks, I will be there and I will beat you on Sunday!

(The video feed ends)

CM Punk:

I can…I can deal with that. And I can deal with you Hunter. So tonight I’m going to give you a choice. You can either embrace Straight Edge freely or I can make you embrace Straight Edge.

Triple H:

Wow, Punk that’s a tough decision but I’m afraid I’m going to have to go with door number 3, which has two words for you…SUCK IT!

The Straight Edge Society attacks Triple H. CM Punk attempts to shave Triple H’s head when Unified Champion Sting and Rey Mysterio make the save. Cut to Commercial.

3: Vladimir Kozlov calls out Guest Host MacGruber and challenges the Guest Host to a match. MacGruber enters with his sidekick Vicki St. Elmo, and says Kozlov has a match with R-Truth and he can’t escape because the arena is rigged with explosives. R-Truth comes out and is “blown up”. Kozlov says he’ll end MacGruber later. Cut to commercial. The Main Event of Triple H, Sting, Kane, and Rey Mysterio against the Straight Edge Society, Batista, and Chris Jericho is announced.

4: Backstage: MacGruber is trying to escape when Triple H confronts him. Triple H notices that MacGruber has peed his pants. MacGruber says they are Kane’s pants until Kane walks in. MacGruber runs away.

5: Edge over Dolph Ziggler

6: Backstage: MacGruber is looking for an escape route and decides to cut through the Divas locker room. Vickie Guerrero is in there wearing a towel preparing for a shower.

Vickie Guerrero:

EXCUSE ME! What the hell do you think you’re doing in the Divas locker room?

MacGruber:

Divas locker room? Oh, I’m sorry I thought this was the…have you seen the Bella Twins?

(Vicki scowls)

MacGruber:

I mean, do want to be my new sidekick?

Vicki:

Well…

MacGruber:

Hold on. I have to take this call from President Obama. Top Secret mission and all. But, I’ll be back.

MacGruber dashes out the way he came. Vicki, enters the shower and it blows up. Enter Women’s Champion Michelle McCool and Layla in towels.

Layla:

What’s that smell?

Michelle:

I don’t know. It smells like…smoked pork.

A burnt Vicki comes out of the shower and screams at the top of her lungs.

7: Jack Swagger and Shelton Benjamin are in the ring. Swagger, to prove he and Benjamin are going to win the tag titles in the four way at Extreme Rules, makes a Varsity Club challenge to anyone in the back, the Undertaker answers.

8: Undertaker over Jack Swagger.

9: Pre-Tape: MVP addresses the crowd and says he’s ready for Sting on Sunday.

10: Backstage: Slam Master J is annoying Vicki St. Elmo. He notices a pack of gum on top of a chair. Vicki warns him not to touch it. Slam Master J does so anyway and opens it. An explosion occurs. Vicki starts to panic when Ron Simmons enters.

Ron Simmons:

DAMN!

11: Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre over Kung Fu Naki.

12: Backstage: Vicki St. Elmo finds MacGruber and tells him about the explosives mishap. MacGruber is talking to someone off camera about the Kozlov situation. He and the unseen Superstar reach an agreement. MacGruber begins to address Vicki when Kozlov interrupts them and starts to chase them. Cut to Commercial.

13: MacGruber and Vicki run to the ring pursued by Kozlov. MacGruber grabs the microphone and offers Kozlov a deal: Kozlov gets five minutes with him if he beats a specially selected opponent. Kozlov accepts. The opponent is The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels.

14: Fallen Angel over Vladimir Kozlov with the Angels Wings. Go to Commercial.

15: Pre-tape: Sheamus abuses a cameraman as a warning to Triple H.

16: Unified Champion Sting, Kane, Rey Mysterio, and Triple H over CM Punk, Luke Gallows, Batista, and Chris Jericho- Sting pins Punk with the Scorpion Death Drop.