When I go swimming I think about things. Today, I was thinking about how DC Comics has been reviving old Hanna-Barbera cartoons and giving them a “mature” makeoverThe Flintstones is now social commentary, Wacky Races in an post-apocalyptic wasteland, the Hanna-Barbera action heroes getting a shared universe, and of course Scooby Apocalypse. I thought about  who else could use a “mature makeover” and it hit me: Captain Planet! 

Captain Planet and the Planeteers was a show on TBS about an environmentally friendly super hero. A group of kids called the Planeteers are summoned by the spirit of Gaia to stop pollution. The Planeteers are given magic rings that control an element of nature. When the kids were in a bind they combined their powers and summoned Captain Planet.

The villains were called “Eco-Villains” who stood for environmental problem and possessed names like “Looten Plunder.” Episodes would end with a  “Planeteer Alert,” which was a PSA about issues like littering and saving the whales.

Looking back it was a preachy cartoon that cared more about it’s message then a story.  I liked it in first grade when I was waiting for wrestling to start. Then I watched a show like  X-Men and Batman: The Animated Series and thought “Wow, the Planeteers are lame. Wolverine has claws and threatening authority.” So, how do you make Captain Planet over for a more mature audience while keeping the environmental them intact? Make him a radical!

Instead of being goodie-goodies, the Planeteers are radical environmentalists that set fire to SUV’s. The “Eco-Villains” are now an Illuminati like cabal with each member representing corporations with bad environmental records. And Captain Planet, he’s more proactive  throwing nuclear power plants into the sun and playing javelin with oil rigs. Naturally, the Military Industrial Complex will team up with the “Eco-Villains” to create super weapons that do not rely on clean energy.

If Wacky Races can become Mad Max, there’s no reason Captain Planet cannot be a super powered version of an Earth Crisis song. Get on this, it could be fun. But keep the mullet. It’s part of the captain’s look.


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