Todd Matthy.com

David Hasselhoff hosts RAW as the best of seven between John Cena and CM Punk continues. Also, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels has arrived and Zack Ryder has some words for him. What else will happen? Read on.

RAW Is David Hasselhoff by Todd Matthy

1: Pre-tape: SMACKDOWN Flashback: CM Punk pins John Cena to win Match Two of the Best of Seven series.

2: Show opens: Guest Host David Hasselhoff enters driving Kiff to the Knight Rider theme. He gets out and jogs to the ring to the Baywatch theme. The Hoff books a Baywatch Divas Swim Suit Contest.

3: Eve over WWE Divas Champion Maryse to win the Divas Championship. Cut to Commercial.

4: Zack Ryder comes to the ring with Rosa Mendes and grabs a microphone.

Ryder:

Woo, woo, woo! I don’t know if you saw what happened last week, but some bald headed punk decided to ambush me. Now, I’m not one to brag, but I had won an intense match, and was not prepared for such a brazen sneak attack. So, I want to extend an invitation to this man who calls himself the “Fallen Angel” to come out here and face me like a man so I can drop him in this very ring. You know…

Suddenly the lights go out. On the Titan Tron an animated video of Icarus falling is played. The opening chords of Iced Earth’s “The Hunter” plays, and the Fallen Angel (Christopher Daniels) rises from a door beneath the Titan Tron and makes his way to the ring. He stands eye to eye with Ryder.

Ryder:

You got something to say?

The Fallen Angel says nothing.

Ryder (cont.):

You got something to say? Or are you just gonna stand there like an idiot?

The Fallen Angel remains silent.

Ryder (cont.):

Can you hear me? Are you deaf? Heelllloooo? Anybody home? You got something to say?

The Fallen Angel delivers a gut buster to Ryder, gets up and does his trademark pose. Rosa goes to attack him. The Fallen Angel gives her a cold glance and she backs away. The Fallen Angel exits.

5: Backstage: David Hasselhoff is hanging out with the Bella Twins, dressed in red swimsuits when Santino enters.

Santino:

Help! Help! I’m drowning, I’m drowning.

Hoff:

Um, usually people do that to Pam or Yasmin.

Santino:

No, I’m drowning in boredom. For weeks I, Santino Marella have had nothing to do but look stupido. I feel I have more to contribute to RAW.

Hoff:

Okay, why don’t you provide commentary during the Baywatch Divas swimsuit challenge? That sounds good.

The Hoff and Bella Twins exit.

Santino:

Mama Mia!

Cut to Commercial.

6: Sheamus comes to the ring.

Sheamus:

Triple H. Seems yeh are a glutton for punishment. It wasn’t enough for me ta beat yeh at Wrestlemania. Yeh cost me my opportunity at playin’ my rematch clause for the Unified Championship. I don’t like when people be interferrin’ in me business. So last week I interfered in yours, and now I’ve received word were gon’ have a rematch at Extreme Rules, and its gon’ be a street fight. And it’s gon’ be yeh’re very last match. Tonight, I want to give yeh a preview of what’s gonna happen at Extreme Rules, so anyone in that locker room that thinks they got guts, c’mon out.

Kofi Kingston accepts.

7: Kofi Kingston over Sheamus via DQ: Sheamus beats Kofi relentlessly with a pipe before kicking his head against the ring post. Cut to commercial.

8: Carlito over Cody Rhodes via DQ- US Champion the Miz attacks Carlito and whips him with the US belt.

9: Backstage: Maryse is tearing apart her dressing room in frustration for losing her match. Ted DiBiase enters. He tells her what happened was a travesty, but he can get her belt back. She asks him how. He answers, “Everybody’s got a price.”

He leaves and she smiles. Cut to Commercial.

10: Baywatch Bathing Suit Contest with Kelly Kelly, the Bella Twins, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian. David Hasselhoff serves as Judge/Lifeguard while Santino is the announcer.

11: Backstage: Interview with Randy Orton.

12: Ted DiBiase over Randy Orton-DiBiase hits Orton in the face with the Million Dollar Belt. Cut to commercial.

13: The Hart Dynasty w/ Bret Hart and Natalya over Jack Swagger and Shelton Benjamin- Afterwards Unified Tag Team Champions Edge and Christian announce that at Extreme Rules they will defend the titles in Fatal Four Way against The Varsity Club, the Hart Dynasty, and JeriShow. Cut to Commercial.

14: The VIP Lounge with MVP. The Special Guest is Unified Champion Sting. They discuss their upcoming match at Extreme Rules. MVP says Sting’s going down leading to them staring each other down into a commercial break.

15: Best of Seven Round Three: John Cena over CM Punk.