WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS. This is my Batman vs. Superman rant and why it broke my heart. Do not click any further.

First and foremost, did anybody read the script? When a movie is called Batman vs. Superman I want to see BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN! I do not want to see an hour of philosophical talk about angels and demons and Lex Luthor debating what to do with a senator. (Good lord you could’ve cut 90% of her scenes and it wouldn’t hurt the plot at all.) It was boring and all it did was drag on what we already knew, Luthor thinks Superman=Bad, Batman thinks Superman=Bad. WE GET IT! Couldn’t that time have been spent having Batman and Superman sizing each other up in action sequences? How about Batman breaking into LexCorp and stealing Kryptonite? Would’ve been more exciting then that entire first act.

Which brings me to the big fight. That was it? The Main Event was all of maybe 15 minutes before they teamed up. (For a very random reason.) Why did we get shorted? Couldn’t Batman have put Superman through a gauntlet ala Luthor in the first Superman then have them fight? Plus, the fight was uneven. You knew Batman was going to get the drop on Superman. Which brings me to the biggest sin this movie commits it’s treatment of Superman.

I don’t mind a debate about whether or not Superman is a danger to humanity. That’s an interesting take on the character. But, we never get to see the positive and romantic side of Superman. All scenes of him helping people have a disturbing, cult-like, undertone. Next, Superman is portrayed as a dope. He has superhearing and can’t detect a bomb? He stands there like a dope while the Capitol burns around him instead of using his super breath or super speed to at least save a couple of people? He slams a terrorist through a wall as opposed to melting the barrel of a gun to save Lois? And he doesn’t try to trick Luthor using Batman’s armored helmet while Batman saves his mother? What happened to him having a Super-Brain?

There was no attempt to make you like Superman. There was no attempt to make him cool. There was no attempt to make him sympathetic. There was no attempt to give “Superman” a personality. Clark got a personality as an insubordinate journalist that brings his girlfriend flowers while she’s in the bathtub. At least it’s something.  Superman was grim and bland. He never smiled and it’s important that Superman smiles. Why? Because he’s supposed to give you hope. He’s the guy who even in the worst circumstances will fight for you and tell you everything will be alright. When he smiles you have hope. Instead, he has blank expressions and the only time he talks is when he’s crying to Lois about his failures. The Superman I know doesn’t fail. It’s why his death didn’t resonate the way it should have. People should’ve been crying instead they gasped but it was “They killed Superman?” as opposed to “They killed Superman!” And all it led to was Batman and Wonder Woman going “lets find the others, can’t grieve forever.” Which brings me to another thing, a dead crowd.

The audience was not thrilled. In Avengers whenever one hero would come into contact with another the audience was chanting “oooohhh” or “Aw yeah! Here we go!” When Superman and Batman first appeared on screen together, nothing. The audience should’ve popped big time for this. It’s Batman and Superman sharing the screen AT THE SAME TIME, FOR THE FIRST TIME. A silent theater is not what I was expecting. The only pop was for Wonder Woman.

Furthermore, there was no subtlety to this movie. We know there are parallels between Superman and Jesus/Moses but in the Donner movies it was subtle. Snyder bludgeons you over the head with it. Same goes with whether or not Batman goes too far. Nolan and Miller’s Batman beat the nonsense out of people and used questionable interrogation techniques, but in a way where his end justified his means. I can see Superman having a problem with that but the audience can at least understand where Batman is coming from and sympathize with him. Batman branding perps? I can see how that’s a problem. Batman became the monster as opposed to straddling that line like he did in The Dark Knight Trilogy.

Finally, did we really need those dream sequences? Did we learn nothing from Ang Lee’s Hulk? Was that scene in Africa necessary? And why did every scene in daylight have to be overcast and shot in the middle of winter?

I thought the action was good (when we got it), especially getting the human perspective of the Battle of Metropolis. I liked Amy Adams’ Lois Lane. I wish she did more but, in a movie called Batman vs. Superman, I understand why we don’t get enough time for her story. I liked Affleck’s Batman. Despite my reservations, I thought he did a good job. He naturally has the Bruce Wayne playboy swagger and when he’s Batman he’s like a brick wall doing UFC moves.

The highlight of the movie was Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman. I wanted more of her. I loved how she took a punch from Doomsday and smiled. I liked her sexy swagger as Diana Prince during the party scenes. While we didn’t get a fully developed Wonder Woman, I knew going in her appearance was going to be a tease for her solo film, and from what I saw we’ll at least get a good performance from Gal Gadot.

Jeremy Iron’s Alfred was good too. I liked how they portrayed Alfred as Batman’s “eye in the sky” while still dispatching fatherly wisdom with the trademark dry wit.

Eisenberg’s Luthor was good in small doses but after while he got annoying. I don’t mind Luthor acting like an eccentric but he took it too far. I think Snyder missed an opportunity by not using the Luthor from the Superman: Red Son comic book, where he’s making a speech about libraries and beating three grandmasters in chess as the same time.

Finally, there was the Justice League cameos. Not only did we get TWO scenes with the Flash. We got a look at Jason Mamoa as Aquaman and Cyborg. Loved it!

This movie was very well made but it focused on it’s philosophy rather then the character’s philosophies and that is where it failed. That and being depressing. I don’t recommend this movie for kids not because it’s violent but because it’s boring. They’ll be bored. And that is not what a movie called Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice should be. Zack Snyder got bit by the pretentious bug and it hurt the movie and possibly DC’s entire movie plan. Because while this movie is breaking records at the box office will those people come back? One thing’s crystal clear, Wonder Woman is now the most important character in the DC pantheon. Because if her movie’s fails, it’s all over for Justice League.

  1. […] Source: THEY BLEW IT: BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN […]

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