Stone Cold Steve Austin returns as the Guest Host of RAW in this Fan Script. It’s Wrestlemania Rewind night, along with the contract signing of the Unified Championship Triple Threat between Sting, Cena, and CM Punk. Plus a MAJOR surprise for the Bret Hart/Vince McMahon match. (Hint: it’s not that Bret faked his injury)

RAW-3/15/10 Fan Script

  • Pre tape. Shawn Michaels has finished digging the grave he started last week for Paul Bearer. The casket is still beside the grave.

Shawn (crawling from the pit):

There. Am I done?

Paul:

Oooohh no Shawn Michaels there is much more.

Shawn:

So. What do I do now?

Paul:

Rest in your casket.

Shawn:

What?

Paul:

Dooonnn’ttt ask just do as I say. Ooohhh yesss.

Shawn:

Still creepy. Anyway I’ am feeling tired from all that digging. (He opens the casket, gets inside and yawns) Wake me up when the next step begins. (Shawn closes the lid. Paul Bearer summons a group of druids.)

Shawn (cont. talking in his sleep)

No…honey…I’ll can’t go to your mother’s tomorrows Wrestlemania.

  • Show begins. Guest Host Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring and grabs the mic.  Austin asks for a beer from someone at ringside.

Austin:

If you’re looking forward to Wrestlemania and Stone Cold hosting RAW gimme a Hell Yeah! Before we get down to business I’ve got something to say. Something to two people who played a major role in my career. First thing first is Bret Hart. I know we’ve had our differences, but no one has ever stuck it to Stone Cold like the Hitman and in many ways you made my career.  As for you Vince McMahon, I see my ass whippings have killed a few more of your brain cells. Now tonight Vince, you and Bret are gonna sign a contract for a match at Wrestlemania. And if there is one thing Stone Cold knows it’s that you Vince usually got some trick up your sleeve with your stooges. Therefore, I’m gonna be overseeing the contract signing and if there’s any shenanigans, you ban bet your last dollar a can of Whoop Ass will be opened! And that’s the bottom line, ‘cause Stone Cold said so.

  • Sheamus over Evan Bourne. Afterward, Sheamus cuts a promo on Triple H. Cut to Commercial.
  • Wrestlemania XX Rewind- Christian over Chris Jericho.
  • Wrestlemania 26 contract signing- Unified Championship Match: Sting vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena. All three sign.
  • Wrestlemania XX Rewind- WWE Champion John Cena over the Big Show via DQ- CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society attack Cena, Sting makes the save. Austin comes out and books Cena vs. Punk for next weeks RAW with Sting as the Special Guest Referee.
  • Pre tape- Shawn Michaels sleeping inside the coffin. Suddenly he feels the coffin being lowered.

Shawn:

Hey, hey! What’s going on here? I’m moving. Paul…Paul…(he starts banging the coffin lid but it won’t open.) what the hell are you doing? (He continues to bang until he hears what sounds like dirt being shoveled on top)

Shawn (cont.):

No. No whatever you think you are doing stop it. Stop it right now! No. No.

(He bangs on the lid)

Shawn (cont.):

No. Help! Help! HEEELLLP!!!

  • Backstage: The Undertaker watching the segment. He remains cold and unemotional.  Cut to Commercial.

  • Wrestlemania 22 Rewind- The Undertaker over Mark Henry. Afterwards the Undertaker grabs the mic.

Undertaker:

Shawn Michaels. I know you are desperate to beat me. You know if you can’t it’s the end and have taken drastic measures to ensure you do so. Shawn, my secrets which make me me will not save you. There is much about me neither you nor anyone knows. Much that cannot be learned. Your quest is futile. At Wrestlemania the streak shall endure and your career will REST IN PEACE!

Cut to Commercial.

  • Contract signing- Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart. Bret, still nursing the bad leg, is accompanied by the Hart Dynasty while is accompanied by his Dream Team, Batista and Kane. They each take their seats at the table with Steve Austin presiding.

Austin:

First things first, before we get things started last year Stone Cold was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, the highest honor in our business. And if there is anyone who deserves to be in the Hall of Fame it is Stu Hart. So, Vince, as Guest Host I have made an Executive Decision, Stu Hart will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and that’s the bottom line ‘cause Stone Cold said so. Now lets get down to business.

Vince:

Just a minute. Bret. Steve. I agree. Stu Hart will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Why have I changed my mind? Because I want the Hart Family to witness the complete and utter destruction of not only you Bret at my hands, but your family at the hands of my dream team.

Bret:

Thank you, Vince. And since you’re so kind and generous I’ve decided to do you a favor. I don’t want to wrestle you. I want to fight you and I know you want to fight me, so lets make this match a street fight! Do you have the guts to accept?

Vince:

I accept. Now, Bret as you know I am a businessman and when you sign this contract, there is no backing down. If you do not show, if you cost me money, if you violate this contract, I will sue you and your family for everything you’ve got! You’ll be a penniless miser for the rest of your life, Gimp Man.

Bret:

Why don’t you shut up and sign the contract.

(They sign the contract)

Vince:

You’ve just signed your death warrant.

Bret:

No, I think not.

(Bret removes his cast. He walks perfectly fine.)

Bret (cont.):

I guess those acting lessons I took paid off, that, and your pal Batista not knowing how to properly stomp an ankle.

(Batista attempts to attack Bret but is blocked by David Hart Smith. Austin gets between them. Security comes in and removes both the Hart Dynasty and Vince’s Dream Team)

Bret (cont.):

I guess you can say this time Vince screwed Vince.

Vince:

I didn’t screw me. You screwed yourself once again. This is a no holds barred match. I can do whatever I want and the referee cannot stop me! Hell, I might just give you another concussion. What can stop me Bret? Whose gonna stop me?

Austin (turning the pages of the contract):

You don’t read the contracts you sign do you Vince? Because if you’ll see here, on this page, there’s a stipulation in this contract, a stipulation that appoints a Special Enforcer for your match with Bret.

(Vince looks at the page and sees the stipulation. His eyes go wide with shock and fear)

Austin (cont.):

That enforcer is none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin!

(Vince goes into shock. Bret hits him with his cast. The show ends.)

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