Tonight, William Shatner hosts RAW as “The Road to Wrestlemania” begins with the fallout from the Royal Rumble (click here if you haven’t read it).

RAW Fan Script – 2/1/10

  1. Show opens. Recap of the Royal Rumble. Opening sequence. Announcer announces this weeks Guest Host, William Shatner. Shatner makes some Star Trek related jokes, says hi to “The King”, and invites the winner of the Royal Rumble, Sting to the ring. Sting’s music plays, he comes to the ring and takes the mic.

Sting:

I never thought I’d say this…the Stinger is going to Wrestlemania! I want to thank each and everyone one of you for supporting me last night during the Royal Rumble. It was tough. But the decision I have to make right now is even tougher. Who will I challenge at Wrestlemania? Will the Stinger go for the most coveted prize in Sports-Entertainment since 1905 or the one title that has eluded him his entire career?

Suddenly WWE Champion Sheamus’s music hits. Sheamus stand at the ramp with the mic in his hand.

Sheamus:

A good speech there Sting! Congratulation’s on winnin’ the Rumble. But it don’t make no difference. I am the WWE Champion. I am unbeaten. And yeh? Ye’re the past. I am the future of the WWE. I am the champion. I’ve ended careers in this ring. And yeh? Yeh’ve out stayed yeh’re welcome. Which is why I haveta put yeh down. Yeh don’ haveta wait till Wrestlemania Sting, I’m challenging yeh tonight for me belt. Yeh can still keep yeh number one contendership, if I let yeh survive. So, what say yeh?

Sting:

I accept!

Go to Commercial.

2. Backstage: The Bella Twins, dressed like Uhura are hanging out with Shatner when Santino enters dressed like Spock.

Santino:

Capi tain Kirk there is a disturbance in the force!

Shatner (laughs):

Kirk wasn’t in that movie.

Santino:

My tag team partner Chavo is secretly working for the Klingon’s? Shall I finish him with my lightsaber?

Shatner:

Once again, I was not in that movie. Let me break it down for you, since you’re a Vulcan, instead of a lightsaber, you should use the Vulcan Nerve Pinch.

Santino:

Like this?

(Santino attempts the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on Shatner. Nothing happens)

Shatner:

No, like this.

(Shatner gives Santino the Vulcan Nerve Pinch and knocks him out)

Shatner:

Hm, that actually works.

(Santino gets up. He is shaken)

Shatner cont.:

You know I think have a way for you and your “partner” to settle your differences. In the classic episode “A Mok Time” I fought for the affection of a woman Spock challenged me to a Kai-if-fee, a Vulcan Combat Ritual, perhaps you and your partner can settle your differences there?

Santino:

Thank you my Captain. May the force be with you.

Shatner:

Once again…. just go.

3. Evan Bourne over Primo.

4. Legacy comes to the Ring. Randy Orton congratulates Ted DiBiase on “taking one for the team” last night at the Royal Rumble. Orton believes there is a conspiracy afoot to keep him out of the Main Event of Wrestlemania and out of contention for the WWE Title.  He blames Vince McMahon and he blames Sting for beating him last night. He believes Sting owes him the Number One Contender spot, and he will get it by any means necessary.

5. Backstage: Shatner and Jillian attempt to sing a duet when John Cena enters. He tells Shatner he wants to make a statement about the “Elimination Chamber” by challenging Triple H. Shatner “makes it so.”

6. Vince McMahon comes out. After bragging about having Bret Hart evicted from the Rumble, he decides he doesn’t have the time and Bret doesn’t have the money to keep getting thrown out of his events. Vince decides to invite Bret Hart to next weeks RAW so Bret can apologize for causing him so much trouble.

7. Backstage: DX enters William Shatner’s office. They make Star Trek and ask Shatner to play “Priceline negotiator” as they hawk merchandise and Wrestlemania travel packages. Shawn asks if he can ‘negotiate’ a match between him and Taker for Wrestlemania. Shatner says he doesn’t know if he can.  Triple H says he has to prepare for his match with Cena. Cut to commercial.

8. Chavo and Santino have their “Vulcan Combat Match. ” The rules are they will fight using the Lirpas until one is knocked out. They knock each other around until Santino knocks down Chavo. Santino extends a hand and the two hug in the ring. Suddenly, Jack Swagger and Charlie Haas attack them. Swagger announces that the new Varsity Club is back.  Cut to commercial.

9. John Cena over Triple H.

10.  Gail Kim over Maryse.  Cut to Commercial.

11.  Kelly Kelly congratulating Gail on her win over Maryse.

12.  The Miz over jobber. Afterwards, the Miz cuts a promo on MVP, who runs out to the ring. The Miz escapes before MVP can get his hands on him. Cut to commercial.

13. Sting over Sheamus via DQ- Randy Orton and Legacy attack Sting while he has Sheamus in the Scorpion Death Lock. Orton punts Sting in the head. Sting is knocked out. Show ends.

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